The morning sun shines through my living room windows and brushes the tops of the clutter pile. Legs stretched out, computer on lap and I notice the tips of my toes being highlighted by the warm sun bouncing off the clutter to the couch. With coffee in hand and scriptures open by my side, I am ready to seek life for this day. I am ready to meditate, pray, consider, and pray. Then, a kick and I am reminded.
My belly swells with new life. I can feel almost every move he makes. Every twitch, every so-called hiccup, every kick and roll bring my attention to him. I cannot escape. He is ever-present within. Reminding over and over… “Ready or not, I’m coming!” Smile.
I find my place in the scriptures:
Colossians 1: 27-29 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.
The riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in YOU… Christ alive in me. As Paul says, “powerfully works within me”. Kick. Kick, kick, and my belly shakes. The parallels are overwhelming. How does life grow inside another life? How does Christ, become alive in me? “Oh the riches of the glory of this mystery”, Paul says. He toils and struggles with all the energy of Christ alive in him to share this great mystery to the gentiles. And I, a gentile, have received grace. Redemption. Restoration. Life. Abundant life grows as I am sanctified, always being moved toward maturity in Christ. I blink, breathe and try to bring all into comprehension.
It is impossible to understand so early this morning. So, I give thanks for those things I cannot understand, the mystery revealed, Christ alive in me and a new life growing inside of mine.
I sigh. The sun does not seem as bright now, yet the whole room illuminates and there is no need for lamp. My eyes fill up wet, now blurry. Oh God, I long to be a mama who feels the whirl and twist of YOU alive in me. With every bomp, bomp, bomp inside my womb, remind me that it is your glory growing.