The Wife of a Youth Pastor

Being the wife of a minister is beyond anything one can understand unless one has experienced it.  I mean think about it. How does a minister’s wife balance her normal Biblical duties as a wife and mother AND the responsibilities of church life?  She carries the weight of depressing church drama, nagging congregation members, petty discrepancies in various preferences as well as real issues in the lives of church members… divorce, prodigal children, financial struggles, sickness…  Often times we hold her as the first lady of the church, placing on her unnecessary expectations and responsibilities that are not laid out in the scriptures. The wife of a minister has the same calling and responsibilities as the rest of us women. Why do we treat her so badly at times, as if she should live a life “more Christian-y” than ours; thus separating her from the congregation, community, friendships…

This summer I was privileged to host a morning breakfast in our home for the wives of the youth pastors who visited SWO.  It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! A few of us SWO wives teamed up to encourage and pray for these awesome women.  Some of the women who sat in my living room are nothing short of “killing it”… thriving, able to stay at home with their children, shielded from the church drama, involved in church activities as they feel best, feeling no pressure from the congregation and free to minister alongside their husbands in a super positive way.  I am so glad there were a few of these women in attendance each week because that was not the case for everyone.

Many ministers’ wives this summer felt alone… 

Sure, there were the topics of nagging parents in the youth group, the needy student and a tighter squeeze on their ministries than what was promised when they took the position.  But the most consistent theme of the summer was lack of community.  Most often, this was caused by a pressure to be so set apart that they could not be “themselves” around church members for fear of gossip, wrong intentions, or the lack of freedom to be NORMAL women who are also being daily sanctified by the work of Christ.  Not “SUPER-WOMEN”.

In the next few posts I am going to write about what I shared each week in these meetings.  I hope it will encourage you as well.  I also want to encourage you to get to know the wives of the men who lead your congregation.  Take her out to coffee and DO NOT DISCUSS THE CHURCH!! Share your testimonies, the sanctifying work Christ is doing in your life.  Many of the women who sat in my living room (most, not all) were under 26 year old.  They need to be encouraged, built up and supported by you so they are able to encourage, support and build up the man God has called to lead your students and congregation!  What an awesome way to show God’s UNCONDITIONAL love to another sister in Christ.  After all, that is what we are all striving for.


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